The Middle Ground

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Being friends with the other parent is achievable. That is if you are not abused in any way. After a few months or even a few years, you will be able to accept all the things that happened between you and your ex significant other. By this time, you can have a decent conversation with your ex and you can talk about your children without shouting at each other.

Since me and my ex separated, I always thought that we can stay as far away from each other as possible. However, since we have common friends, we always see each other during parties and get-together. You can always feel the tension in the room when we are both there. I don't know the exact time and date, but eventually, we would text each other and start talking when we are together. 

Now, I can say that I have finally left everything behind. I felt that a big rock was lifted off from my shoulders. I am not bitter anymore and I treat him like a brother now. All's well that ends well.

Much love,

T.O.P (The Only Parent)

The Teenage Years

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The hardest part of being the only parent to your children is maintaining a balance in your relationship. Their is no good cop/bad cop here. It's either they love you or they hate you. My 14 year old daughter is now in a stage where she doesn't talk much. She spends her time mostly in front of her laptop watching videos, tweeting and updating all her social networking accounts. Most of the time, she will only talk to me when she needs something. So what do I do?

Nothing really. I let her be as long as she doesn't step out of boundaries. It is important to let her know when I can be a friend and when I am the mom. I am thankful that I had a daughter because if I had a boy, I wouldn't know what to do. In the meantime, all I have to do right now is to make sure that she knows her limits and I have to snoop once in a while just to check if everything is alright with her.

I wouldn't know if circumstances will be different if her father is a constant figure in her life. However, since he is not, then all I can do is to try my very best to be both the dad and the mom - plus the driver, the nanny at times and a friend...

Much love, 

T.O.P (The Only Parent)