Helicopter Parent

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I came across an article about the decline in student's resiliency and a facebook friend commented about helicopter parenting. I googled what a helicopter parent is and I realized that IT'S ME!!! 

hel·i·cop·ter par·ent

noun

informal

plural noun: helicopter parents

1. a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.

A few weeks ago during a parent teacher conference at my daughter's school, I was given a letter written by my daughter in their English class. The letter was full of thank-you's from my girl but one thing that struck me was the word "stage mother". You see, my daughter will be 16 in a few weeks and I wanted to think that because of her age, she wouldn't want me hovering over her. She is in a stage where she wants her freedom and decide for herself. Reading about helicopter parenting, I now knew that by being a stage mother will not help her in becoming a better person. One day, she won't have me beside her and it is a good idea to start letting her go and make her own decisions. 

But even if I will slowly let her experience the ups and downs of life, I will still be behind her so when she calls out to mama, I will be there for her. 

Much love, 

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

Keep Calm

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It has been a series of emotional roller coaster ride for me the last 2 weeks. My daughter has some health concerns and I am worried big time. I have been worrying since her last check up and she still has to undergo a series of tests in the very near future. Since I am the only parent, I turn to family and friends when deciding what to do. As I have mentioned in my past posts, you always need to find that support group who can help you if not financially, at least, emotionally. I always tell my friends first when something concerns my daughter. They are the ones who analyzes situations for me and help me decide what's best. My family I turn to when I have decided and I need them to help me financially or just be there to help any time I need it. 

There will still be many days in the future that you would have these worry days. As your child/children grow, the level of worrying increases. In the 15 years that I have my daughter, I still worry about everything when it comes to her. That is why I admire those who have 2 or more kids. That's worrying times 2 or more! LOL!

Keep Calm my dear only parent. We Can Do THIS! 

Much love,

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

TEEEEENAGERS!!!

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I have a 15 year old at home and I don't know what to do. Well, I'm sure most of you who have teenagers are in the same boat as I am. Teenagers for moms are the hardest to understand. They can be talkative one day and clam up the next day. Talking to them is like talking to the wall. You don't get any reply and if you do, you can only hear a grunt which may mean yes or no. There are days when they don't want to come out of their room and lay in bed the whole day and there are times that they want to go out with their friends everyday as if they don't see enough of them in school. 

So what do we do? The truth is I don't know. But I can give you a few pointers that I have tried. For starters, when I see her at home, I'll greet her and see if her tone is a "don't talk to me" tone. If it is, I leave her alone and only call her to eat or if I have something important to tell her. If she is in a good mood, then, I encourage her to tell me how her day went and what she did that day or we just talk about anything or anyone she wants. However, I don't tolerate this behavior for more than 2 days at a time. I respect her moods but I don't tolerate it. After several run-ins with her when she was just starting to have her "moods", she now knows when to come down from it and talk to me.

Now let me tell you how I don't ruin her day. I try to adjust to her moods because I don't want any conflicts with her. REMEMBER that you have to respect them but don't let them abuse your tolerance. 

-We are not morning people so my daughter is the same. I wake her up for school but as much as possible, I don't talk to her while she does her morning routine. 

-When I hear a grunt reply on a question, it would mean she's not in the talking mode so I leave her alone for the moment. 

-When it's the time of the month she gets her period and  feels pain and just wants to lie in bed the whole day. I know this feeling so I leave her alone.

Hope this helps you understand your teenagers more.

Much Love,

T.O.P. (The Only Parent)