Never Lose Hope

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I have been seeing posts from my facebook friends who are in the same boat as me - that is being the only parent for their children. A few of them have been posting their frustrations on their timeline and I cannot understand why they see their situation as a problem. Yes, I agree that being the only parent can be difficult at times especially about finances but there are more reasons to celebrate in being one. 

The only frustration I have is not having enough money to give my daughter a better life. However, I haven't given up hope because I know that by being honest with my daughter, she will understand what I can and cannot give her. The solution is to constantly communicate with your children and make them feel that having money is not everything. What is more important is how they accept your family's situation and make the most out of it. 

You, as the only parent, on the other hand should never, ever lose hope and believe that one day, everything will fall into their proper places. 

Much love, 

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

What is your Priority?

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I must admit that I have been neglecting this blog for quite some time now. It is now March 9 and this is my first post for 2016. Talk about lazy...

Anyway, 2016 started with me worrying about my financial status. You see, I live paycheck to paycheck. Half of my monthly salary goes to tuition fees and the other half goes to bills, allowances, etc...  Is it just laziness or what?

Please don't judge me. I chose to work in a company that would allow me to go on leave every time I need to be present in my daughter's life. Before I accepted this job, I only had one request - that if my daughter needs me, I will not be at work. This include parent-teacher conferences, school activities that require a parent in attendance, doctors appointment, and so on...

My friends would always refer me to companies who are hiring but I am always hesitant. Imagine me having to work for a big company that would only allow me a few days off work. I don't think that would cater to my role as the only parent.

I was able to talk with a former classmate and we were discussing about this and she mentioned that it was just a matter of priorities. She, for example, would hire maids and nannies to take care of her children's need and concentrate on her business rather than play a more proactive role in her children's life. True! It is a matter of priorities and I chose my daughter than any high paying job. So please, don't judge me.


I hope you all learned a valuable lesson today with this blog. Decide which is more important to you and make it work!


Much love,

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

A big SALUTE

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The year 2015 is almost over and I can say that this has been one of the most tough and challenging year for me. Most of you might say the same thing but one thing is for sure - WE SURVIVED! That is something to celebrate about right? 

The truth is that it is harder for only parents to deal with everyday life. The challenge to balance our time with our work and our kids may seem too difficult at times but what can we do? We need to be up and about every single waking hour to provide and take care of our responsibilities. If you have accepted this fact of life, then it will be smoother for your from this day forward.

Let us all be merry and enjoy the holidays celebrating the birth of our Savior. Take some time to reflect on the year that was and move forward to a better year ahead. 

A big SALUTE to all parents who survived 2015!

Much love,

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

Helicopter Parent

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I came across an article about the decline in student's resiliency and a facebook friend commented about helicopter parenting. I googled what a helicopter parent is and I realized that IT'S ME!!! 

hel·i·cop·ter par·ent

noun

informal

plural noun: helicopter parents

1. a parent who takes an overprotective or excessive interest in the life of their child or children.

A few weeks ago during a parent teacher conference at my daughter's school, I was given a letter written by my daughter in their English class. The letter was full of thank-you's from my girl but one thing that struck me was the word "stage mother". You see, my daughter will be 16 in a few weeks and I wanted to think that because of her age, she wouldn't want me hovering over her. She is in a stage where she wants her freedom and decide for herself. Reading about helicopter parenting, I now knew that by being a stage mother will not help her in becoming a better person. One day, she won't have me beside her and it is a good idea to start letting her go and make her own decisions. 

But even if I will slowly let her experience the ups and downs of life, I will still be behind her so when she calls out to mama, I will be there for her. 

Much love, 

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

Part Time Solo Parent

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I have friends who are married but their husbands are either working in another place or working at different hours than the normal. I describe them as Part Time Solo Parent because most of the time, they are the ones doing the parenting at home. One day, one of them (the one whose husband works the night shift) called me. She was saying that she misses her husband especially at night when he needs to go to work. Her only companions at home are their children. She misses having someone to do chores, to talk, to bond and to sleep with at home. 

I say that instead of focusing on the nights that the husband is not at home, try to focus on the anticipation of a whole weekend with the husband. Make a to-do list. One day can be a family bonding time and one day can be a date night. Of course it will not be easy because of the many other things that needs to be taken care of BUT you still have the time and you should use it wisely. 

Anticipation and Time Management is the key to making more memories together.

Much Love,

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)

Keep Calm

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It has been a series of emotional roller coaster ride for me the last 2 weeks. My daughter has some health concerns and I am worried big time. I have been worrying since her last check up and she still has to undergo a series of tests in the very near future. Since I am the only parent, I turn to family and friends when deciding what to do. As I have mentioned in my past posts, you always need to find that support group who can help you if not financially, at least, emotionally. I always tell my friends first when something concerns my daughter. They are the ones who analyzes situations for me and help me decide what's best. My family I turn to when I have decided and I need them to help me financially or just be there to help any time I need it. 

There will still be many days in the future that you would have these worry days. As your child/children grow, the level of worrying increases. In the 15 years that I have my daughter, I still worry about everything when it comes to her. That is why I admire those who have 2 or more kids. That's worrying times 2 or more! LOL!

Keep Calm my dear only parent. We Can Do THIS! 

Much love,

The Only Parent (T.O.P.)