Knowing the Dad

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Not letting your children know their father is a no-no for me. A bad relationship with your EX does not justify letting your child grow not knowing their dad. Except of course if the father is the one who doesn't want to know his child. That is another story to deal with. 

Obviously I am not married. EX signed my daughter's birth certificate acknowledging the fact that he is the father. My daughter knows everything about her dad and I let her choose if she wants to go out with him or not (Fortunately, she doesn't). The dad on the other hand is also not keen on looking after her. He just ask about her from time to time and see her thrice a year the most. But life goes on for us. No hard feelings and the family ties are still there. 

So let me spell it out for you. Let your child choose once he/she is of age already. By 3 or 4 years old, a child can understand things already. You need not fear what might happen if they see their dad or what-not. There is no reason for you to bad mouth their father, no reason to not let them know their father and no reason for you to let their father be a dad to your child. BUT if the father don't want to know their children, please don't force the issue. It will not be worth it. 

Much love,

T.O.P. (The Only Parent)